Thursday, February 4, 2010

Back to the drawing board

Since the last time I posted, life has taken turns; unexpected, expected and unusual. Made some new friends, some friends just drifted away. Work went from great to pathetic. The life I thought I would build in Chennai, has completely new dimensions in the new year. One year ago I was dating a beautiful girl, a year later we parted ways. One year ago I loved the work, a year later I despise it. One year ago I had an amazing group of friends and a year later we hardly speak. One year ago, I was planning to go to the UK and now I am preparing to pack my bags for New York.

One thing remained constant from then and now, struggle to live and survive in a corporate environment and in a new city. I am not sure what went wrong, but things just don’t feel right. Too much is changing and without a reason. I want to sort things, but seem powerless. I have let things take over me and I am surprisingly not bothered. I am just living everyday as it comes.. without thinking of things that should matter to me.

I will be ocean apart from next month, so whether leaving a city behind, as I move on in my life, means leaving the memories behind? I certainly cherish the memories I created while in the UK, why should I treat Chennai differently?

As my fly date comes near I am anxious about the decisions I took while in Chennai. Whether it was a meaningless encounter for a night last month or a meaningful relationship I enjoyed for a brief period of time, life has moved on and so should I. Not sure of taking the right decision for every issue in life, but I am confident and yet anxious of moving to a new city and making new friends, and hopefully keep them for life… a task I was unsuccessful at this time.