Finally I have the chance to sit down and trace my thoughts. I have been wanting to write for a long time but never got the chance. Well, I cannot really complaint at the moment. I am unemployed and have no friends. Only thing that makes me feel good is the disgusting state of thousands others like me fighting to be a part of shining India. I am listening to ‘Shine-take that’ never thought I will need to listen to songs just because I want to feel good and feel optimistic about life. It is just delusional when people have faith in you. I ask, does that really make a difference when everyone else except me believes in me. I believe I am fortunate enough to earn confidence of my family (that is why I am still here). Dads always have their own version of the world. I know how hard it is to be one of those who have not succeeded in fulfilling parents dream and I also know the agony of a father.
But I just cannot relate to my dad’s agony. I know it’s a bit harsh but when popes (People who think they own the world) comes in between my hard work and dad’s logical thinking, it becomes a bit difficult to share my failures. I have had enough of continuous nagging every 5 in the morning. He wants me to become a part of the shining India which he sees around him and his mates share. He always feels proud when anyone, he remotely knows, has received a good job offer or is working hard. This is just the beginning. My family is extra-ordinary, oversensitive and extremely prone to persuasion bunch of primates. Frequent mood-swings and hope of a worse future prevails 28 hrs a day. I don’t think I have lived away from them for such a long time that I don’t understand their chemical structure.
I do not want t o write in detail about how I am surviving, just makes me too unhappy.